End Up Here?

Dear Carter,

When I was a kid, I used to play in this Watermelon field that was right down the street from my house.  We used to have all kinds of fun in that field. We would pretend that we were on a Safari in the jungle, or hunting wild animals (snipe hunt anyone?). That field was the home of many adventures, and oddly enough, that field is where I am sitting right now.  In your room.

Who knew that I would end up here?  Wouldn't it be interesting to go back in time and tell myself, "hey, your house is going to be right there when you grow up".  It kind of already baffles my mind, and I'm the one who has followed the steps to get here.  There are so many other instances in my life when I have these kinds of thoughts.

Your brother and sister's school?  Well, that is actually where I went to school.  Right now I teach technology there with a couple of people who worked at that school when I was a student.  What do you think it would be like if I could go back in time and tell myself, "those people right over there will be your co-workers someday".  It's kind of a crazy idea to think about isn't it?

What about a couple of years before your Daddy and I started dating.  We both worked at McDonald's together, and were at complete opposite ends of the social spectrum.  Your Daddy was more of the "Prep", and I was more of the "Bad Girl Rocker Chick".  If you would have told me that I was going to one day marry Mike, I would have told you that you were crazy (and I'm sure he probably would have thought the same thing).

Now, if you would have told me five years ago that I was going to be given the hardest job in the entire world, I would have wondered what you are talking about.  Yet, here I am being the parent to a child in Heaven. Truth is, it definitely is the hardest job in the world, but I wouldn't change anything because in order to have this job, I had to be your Mommy.  Now that's something to be proud of.

I wonder what I'll want to tell myself five years from now.

Let It Snow

Dear Carter,

It snowed here like crazy last week. So much so that school got cancelled. I must admit that I was secretly crossing my fingers and hoping they would cancel school because there is not much that I like more than hanging out with our family in a warm house especially when we have no where to go. It was a nice change of pace, although it has been exceptionally cold and I am starting to crave that spring like weather.

Not much else is happening here. Just trying to stay warm and getting ready to gear up for your Operation Smile 5k this Summer.

The Little Things

Sometimes it's the little things that can just tear my heart out.

Jovie brought home a paper from school today that asked if there were any siblings who needed to sign up for Kindergarten. The school sends it out every year as a way to round them up. I have to admit that although you wouldn't have been in Kindergarten, it stung to see that. I will never be able to fill out that paper with your name and something as simple as that just breaks my heart.

On the other hand, sometimes it's the little things that can just make my day. Like, when someone mentions you, or someone asks a question about you.

Who knew that little things would seem so big.

Hard Goodbyes

Dear Carter,

Today brought one of those tough goodbyes that we knew would be coming... I just didn't think it would be today.

We said goodbye to our sweet little Dachsund, Bud, today. He really was a good boy, and has been with your Daddy and I since we started dating. It's weird to think that he's not here anymore. Jovie is the one who is taking it the hardest by far, but I think that she will be ok. She always considered that little dog as hers. I don't think that she will be without a puppy for long.

So, I believe that all dogs go to Heaven too which makes me think that you are playing with a new puppy tonight. Give him a kiss from all of us.

We love you both.

Seven, really??

Dear Carter,

I can't believe we are a week into January already. I've been keeping with all of my little projects, and it's been good for me. I really feel like I am on top of things for the time being..... Now let's see if I can keep it up.

Today, I worked on planning Jovie's birthday party. I simply can NOT believe that she is almost seven. Her birthday isn't until the middle of February, but we are going to be very busy for those first few weeks, so I thought I'd better get a jump on it now.

She's so dang cute, and was all about making lists of the guests she would like to have, the food, the activities.... Maybe I just need to put her in charge of Mikey's party this year! This is her first "friend" party, so I think she's a bit extra excited.

If only she knew what we have planned for her the week before (I can't wait to spill the beans!!)

I love you my sweetheart. My next project is something very cool for your birthday.