Shedding Some Light On Our Future

Sometimes I wonder how having a sibling like Carter will affect Mikey and Jovie.  I think that it's a worry that most special needs parents have.

At first, I was very concerned about how much they would miss out on with having a brother with limitations.  In the VERY beginning, I started thinking that there would be no way that we could go on a family vacation, or that we would miss out on fun things because of Carter. I know that these things are unrealistic, but I have to admit that it was something I would think about. How would Carter affect them?

I sat down with a friend who assured me that those things would still happen, and that my kids were definitely going to be better people for it (thank you Gretchen for that conversation). She even told me that she was thankful that her kids would be able to grow up knowing Carter.

It's true that we haven't done too many things this Winter while we're trying to keep Carter healthy, but we've still had a lot of family fun. I now know that having a child with disablities is a new kind of normal and we're still going to be able to do all of those things that a "normal" family does. I honestly don't worry about it any more, although there may come a time when I do again.

These thoughts came into my mind again this week while we were watching the Olympics. Of course, I'm talking about Alex Bilodeau.  Who is Alex Bilodeau?  If you don't know, I'll happily fill you in.

Alex Bilodeau is a men's Moguls skier who recently won the first gold medal for Canada on home soil.  The reason why I'm drawn to his story is that he has an older brother who has Cerebral Palsy.  There are so many interviews, and so many quotes about how having an older brother with a disability affected his life so it was hard to choose just one:

"I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have the same perseverance if I didn't grow up with him," said the 22-year-old from Montreal. "I'm someone who never quits, even in training. I'm going to fight until the last moment, until I crash really bad."

"In training, it's just like competition and I'm fighting until I can't go any more and until I'm on one ski or something. Even then, I try to pull it back. I grew up with the mentality, `If my brother would have that chance, would he take it? Would he try more?' I always – I always – come to that same answer and it's, `Yes, he would try more.' That's why I can do it."

"He wakes up in the morning and he's got that big smile; he goes to bed and he's got that big smile," Alex said. "And you look at him, and he's got all the right to complain. How many times do we complain in a day? I don't even think I can count mine. That's when you put everything in perspective and you say I should just shut up and swallow and go train."

"My brother is my inspiration," Alex said that night on TV, tears welling. "He taught me so many things in my life."

Wow.

I can only hope that Carter can give the same inspiration to Mikey and Jovie.

But you know what?

I don't need to hope, because I know that it's already there.  I can see it when they look at him.  I can see their compassion growing. All I can do is thank God for giving us this wonderful gift.

Brotherly Love

So sweet!  Mikey is one of Carter's biggest fans.  He gets excited about everything the little guy does, and reports stuff to me all of the time. I couldn't get a decent picture of these two together because as you can see, Carter loves to touch faces now.

The little guy has kept me busy this week with a lot of therapies and just plain ole' playing.  Here are a few pics of him in his crib.  There are a few things that are really exciting about these pictures.  Can you guess what they are?

OK, I'll just tell you.  The first thing is that he's smiling.  Awww. So cute!  He's smiling at the drop of a hat now which is so nice. What a happy guy! 

The second thing is that he's watching his mobile.  Just within the last couple of weeks has he shown any interest in it. I remember that Mikey loved his mobile, and I suspect that Carter is going to be the same.

The third thing is that he's laying on the back of his head and staying there.  That seems like something that should come easy to him, but he's just barely starting to do this as well.  The way his skull is shaped makes it hard for him to do this, so even if you look through old pictures on this blog you'll notice that he's almost always on his side. We're so proud!

We had vision therapy yesterday and hearing therapy today.  During vision therapy we learned that Carter REALLY likes the touch and feel books.  We'll definitely be ordering some of those.  I also pulled out our portable DVD player and tried out some Baby Einstein yesterday, and he's definitely a fan of that too.  It's so nice to see him liking new things.  It looks like he's finally moved on from his swing.  We're still working diligently on the tummy time stuff. Today he lifted his head three separate times while he was laying flat on the ground.  He can do it easily when he's propped on the Boppy, but this was the first time he did it on the ground.

Christmas

Here is the completed Nativity.  Isn't it precious?  Thank you to our Secret Family for making this holiday season extra special for us. Your notes made us reflect on what Christmas is really about.

Our Christmas was spent at home this year. On Christmas Eve Michael brought home a new Wii game, and we made a bunch of finger foods.   We had a few visitors throughout the day which made it even more fun.  Here are the kids in their new Christmas jammies.

Carter looked so cute in his big boy jammies.  It cracks me up because they are a size 3-6 months.

The kids woke up at about 7:30 Christmas morning.  Carter slept in until about 8:00, and then he wanted in on the action.

Major sleepy eye.

Carter loved his new floor mirror.

Check out these gorgeous gifts!

A Secret Santa snuck these gifts into the back of Michael's truck.  How sweet is that?!  You won't believe what was inside of each one.  Each of the kids got some REALLY nice outfits that included socks, pants, shirts, and hoodies from our favorite store.  Carter got a very soft blanket too! Then one of them had a huge box of chocolates, a Christmas CD, and a photo keychain.  The card was very nice telling us to believe in Santa Claus, and there was a letter that told the story about "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus".  I am seriously floored at how kind this person was to do all of this for us.  Your generosity is too much! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. The kids loved their outfits, and they were the perfect size. You'll never know how much this act of kindness has meant to us.  We feel very blessed.

We spent the rest of the day hanging out in our pajamas. It was the best Christmas ever!

Carter is nine months old today.  Can you believe it? Nine months old. He's moving right along with things.  I've noticed that I've been lacking in his therapies for the last couple of weeks with the holidays, so for the last two days we've been doing some major workouts. 

I started him back up on cereal, and as you can see he loves it.

NOT!  This is Carter saying "Are you trying to kill me?!?!"

He's actually doing pretty well with it.  I just need to stick with it so he can keep getting better at it.

My Sweetheart

Today was Michael's birthday.  He had to work, but once he got home it seemed like we had a lot of visitors and phone calls with birthday wishes.  Thank you to everyone who helped us celebrate today. I know that it meant a lot to him. I'm very proud of Mike for all of the hard work he does.  He really is the best husband that I could have found. I'm a VERY lucky girl!

Jovie had a Preschool program last week, and she looked so pretty.  She and her best friend, Lauren are in a class together. As you can see they have similar taste in clothes.

Mikey had a mini talent show in his class on Friday.  Michael and the grandmas attended.  He was so worried because he "doesn't have a talent....he only knows how to do Kung Fu" which I assure you he does not.  We taught him how to say Merry Christmas using Sign Language and he did great! What a cutie.  He's getting to be so big.

Carter had his first Synagis shot today.  This is the vaccine for RSV, and for a baby his size it costs $2200 a month.  He has to have it once a month for 5 months, but THANKFULLY our insurance is covering it.  I also swallowed my pride and asked the Pediatrician to fill out a form to get a Handicapped plaquard for our car. I do fine carrying Carter and all of his accessories most of the time....but lately it's been REALLY hard finding a parking spot at the hospital.  Usually if I do find one, it's so far away from the building that I'm exhausted by the time I get inside.  I usually take the stroller, but there are some appointments where it is such a tight fit. I guess we'll be sportin' a plaquard for awhile.

Our Secret Family is still delivering little surprises to us.  The Nativity is almost complete.  I'm going to share a picture when it's all done.  Our kids kept asking when we could be someone's Secret Family, but since it was a little late to do that, we decided to start leaving little gifts for our Secret Family instead.  The kids have had a blast with it.

Strep. Yep, I said it. Strep.

Mikey has Strep.  I must say that I'm not surprised since it seems like he gets some sort of throat illness every Fall.  He told me late Friday that he had a sore throat.  I pushed it off as no big deal.  On Saturday he was running a fever of about 100 for most of the day, but Tylenol knocked it down a bit. Still had a sore throat.

He started to act much better, so I thought it was probably just a little bug.  I made a doc appointment for that night, but since he was doing better I cancelled it.  I was afraid of taking him amongst the "flu ridden".

Sunday morning he woke up with no fever, but a little sore throat.  I made another appointment, but he came right out of it again.  He acted COMPLETELY fine, so I cancelled it again. 

Finally, by afternoon he said his throat hurt again so I made an appt and stuck to it.

He has Strep.

He's on antibiotics.

I'm going to bed now.

Our Halloween

I haven't gotten that article scanned in yet, so I'm going to try my very hardest to get it posted tomorrow.  Instead, here's how our Halloween went...

The kids had a fun time.  I felt like a bad mom because we didn't even carve our pumpkins until Halloween day.  Ughhh!  I hate it when I procrastinate (which if you know me, I do a lot of) and end up rushing things like this.  In my defense, we had planned on doing it the night before, but time got away from us because Carter had a random bad day with his breathing.  Here are the older kids carving away.  Jovie's pumpkin was so tiny but took the longest to get the seeds out of.  It was one of those rare moments when Mikey was being extremely helpful and cute about getting all of the seeds out.  Carter slept through all of it.

Here's the very cute outfit that my grandma sent for Carter.  Awww...isn't he the most precious boy!  He had just woken up so there were no smiles coming from him.  Can't you see how he would have a crooked smile...just like Edward?

Finally, it was time for the good ole' trick or treating.  Jovie was thrilled that we colored her hair purple.  Carter is looking at me like "seriously... what are we doing?", and Mikey was all business.  Get the candy and move on!

We have another big week ahead of us.  Tuesday is the big "hearing aid day" for Carter.  We're so excited!  Thursday we meet with the Pulmonologist to discuss the sleep study.  She already sent us a letter with the results, so we know that she thinks that CPAP would be beneficial to him.  No problem... bring it on!

It's All Good

So, Mikey is fine.  He had a fever last night, so I gave him Tylenol and it went away instantly.  He told me that his legs and ears hurt, but felt much better within a few hours. I sent him to school today and all is well.

Carter and I have been working hard to practice his rolling today.  I'm setting a goal to have him rolling by Christmas.  With some hard work I think we can get there.  Sitting up should follow soon after.  His trunk strength is still a little weak, but we're working on it.  I noticed today that he's actually gotten two new teeth.  One on top and one on the bottom.  The second one on the bottom is so close to popping through.  It certainly explains all the drooling lately.

Tomorrow I'm going to post an article that was written about Michael and Carter.  It was published in the company newsletter recently.  How exciting is that?!

More Teeth

Carter hasn't been quite himself the last few days, but I finally figured out why.  He got himself another tooth!  This one is on the bottom right and the one next to it is ready to break through.  He started physical therapy today and did great!  I'm really excited to get the ball rolling with it. 

Jovie had a great time at her dance Halloween party today.  Lucky girl gets to dress up in her costume three times this week!

Mikey fell asleep at 4:00 this afternoon and pretty much slept until an hour ago.  He has a small fever, so we're praying that it doesn't get any worse. We knew that we couldn't completely prevent illness in our house, but are hoping that we can contain it without it spreading to Carter.  Wish us luck!

Kid Pic

Not much new going on here.  We're just enjoying our week off from appointments.  Jovie was supposed to go to the Pumpkin Patch today with her class, but it got postponed until Friday.  Mikey's still enjoying Kindergarten and learning lots of new stuff every day.  Carter has become Mister Personality and is smiling at EVERYTHING.  He's also started to be very aware of his surroundings and is starting to somewhat bat at objects.  It's really exciting to see him grow.  He has an Opthalmology appt next week, also the second ABR and sleep study.  It will be a busy week, but it feels as though his appointments are starting to wind down a little (knock on wood).

Pumpkin Patch

We took the kids to the pumpkin patch today.  Carter came too, but fell asleep in the car on the way there so we didn't want to bug him.  I really wanted to get a pic of all of them together, but I'll just have to try and get some at home.

Mikey's first choice of pumpkin was a huge one that wouldn't even stand up.  That kid always goes for size and definitely not for shape or looks.  We talked him into a smaller one.  Jovie, on the other hand, will pick the smallest pumpkin that is practically impossible to carve.  It's funny to see how our kids have such different personalities.

Carter had an appointment with his Pediatrician yesterday.  Everything went well and was uneventful.  I think that the ped is finally on Team Carter.  He told me that he was shocked by how well Carter is doing and by how far he has come.  He said that he truly believed that Carter would surprise a lot of people in his life. We've always believed that, but it was cool to hear it from someone else.

We tried out some rice cereal today.  He took about a teaspoon which I thought was really good.  His goal is to get up to at least a tablespoon by February, so if he can keep it up we're on our way there!  I snapped this pic this afternoon.  I just love those cheeks!  He looks a lot like Mikey in this picture.  Actually, this was Mikey's outfit but he outgrew it when he was 3.5 months.  The pants still fall off of Carter all.the.time.

First Day

Doesn't he look like a teenager in this pic? Mikey's first day of Kindergarten was yesterday. Well, it was kind of like a "faux" first day of school. I had to go with him and stay for 45 minutes while the teacher told us what to expect out of the year. He had to go back today for a quick test to show his teacher what areas he needs to work on, and now he's done until his first "official" day of Kindergarten on Monday. He seems to like his teacher, so hopefully he'll have a fun year.

Tomorrow is the BIG day for Carter. I still don't know the surgery time, but am assuming it will be in the morning. I have some pics of Carter and his daddy to post too. I finally got some done even though the baby cried during the whole thing. When I say the baby, I'm not referring to Carter. We will update when we can tomorrow, and are excited to post Carter's new look! Thank you for all of the prayers and well wishes.

Mikey

It's official! Mikey is now six years old. Part of me is so proud of him and the other part is a little depressed that he's getting so big! We had a small family celebration on his actual birthday followed by his party on Saturday. Michael set up the pool and waterslide, and Mikey had all of his cousins and some of his friends over. The kids had a blast! There was even an Optimus Prime pinata. Thank you everyone for celebrating our little man's birthday with us. It was definitely one that he'll remember forever. He started school today, pics of that to come tomorrow.

If you're wondering where Carter was for the party, he spent the day tucked away in my bedroom. No worries though, all 3 of his Grandmas made sure that he was well taken care of.