A Rough Night

Dear Carter,

Boy, that one was a rough night.  It all started at about midnight when Jovie woke me up.  She was sobbing and told me that her tummy was hurting her.  She was sick on Friday with a little tummy bug, but was all better by the afternoon, so I assumed that it had just come back.  I got her all tucked back into her bed with a movie, and just a few minutes later she started screaming and writhing in pain.

Jovie has NEVER EVER done that before, so it worried me quite a bit.

I was scared.

I made a phone call to the after hours clinic to get her in ASAP.  Luckily, they said that I could take her in right then.  It took quite awhile to get her calmed down enough to get her into the car, but then the cramping started again as we were driving to the doctor.  As we drove by the cemetery, she told me that she was scared, and I told her to just look at the little lights on your grave....that you were with her.  It worked, and she calmed down again.

We got to the clinic, and waited for what seemed like hours in the waiting room, but in reality it was probably only a few minutes.  The doctor came out to get us, and I was shocked.....ok maybe not shocked because I knew it was a possibility that we would be seen by him, but maybe just saddened that we had the same doctor as the one that I had to take Mikey to on the day that you died.  It brought back a lot of those memories of that first night without you, and how it seemed crazy that life was moving on....that I had to still be a mommy and take your brother to the doctor.  I guess in some ways it was calming to know that my role really hadn't changed all that much.....but it still a memory from those first few days.

The doctor examined Jovie, who was looking extremely pale, and when he went out of the room to grab something, I asked Jovie if she would like for me to give her a blessing.  I prayed for her and asked God to take away her fear, and to ease her pain.  I also prayed that she might feel you in her presence, and be comforted.  I know that it might sound a little bit crazy, but almost instantly her tummy started to relax, and she started to fall asleep.  I just KNOW that you were there with her.

He examined her and watched her for quite awhile. She even had to be monitored on a pulse ox machine for a little while, which was reminiscent of the days with you. At first we feared that her appendix had ruptured, but eventually all signs pointed to too much air in her poor little tummy.  False alarm.  Today she is feeling much, much better, but she will be staying home from school for a bit more rest.

Thank you for helping us through that scary part last night. I love you.