Decorating Day

Dear Carter,

Well, it's finally done! It feels like I've been working on your tree forever, and now it's finally done. I don't think that it could be more perfect! Of course, I'm only going to give the tiny sneak peek above for now. Pictures just do not do it justice, and I don't want to ruin the moment for anyone who plans to see the tree in person. I promise to post tons of pictures this weekend.

It was certainly an amazing experience. There were several people there creating trees in memory of their loved ones, and to have that many people decorating these trees with so much love was an overwhelming feeling. We had a lot of our family and friends there helping, and it was so, SO much fun. Thank you to everyone who took the trip down there with us. We appreciate you!

Thank you also to everyone who contributed something to this tree. I really do think that we've made Carter proud. As we were putting the finishing touches on it including putting his picture under it, I felt that enormous sense of pride again. Carter, you were loved so very much!

For anyone who is interested in going down to the event, it is at the South Towne Expo Center. You can start attending on Wednesday, December 1st through Saturday December 4th from 10:00 to 10:00. The tickets are $5 for adults and $3 for children, but they only take cash or check (there are ATMs down there). Carter's tree is in the Small Tree section, and almost directly under the Small Trees sign. It is the most adorable one there just like Carter ha!

Team Carter will be attending on Friday at about 6:00. We would love it if anybody would like to join us. We hope to see you there!

And The Winner Is.....

Thank you so much for all of your votes. This one was the clear winner! I remember the day I took this picture. He was wearing an outfit that my friend April had made for him. He fell asleep a few minutes after this picture was taken. What a cutie! I love that little cleft!

Decorating day is around the corner. If anyone would like to meet us down at the Festival Of Trees, we are going to be there on December 3rd...probably around 6:00 or so. I'll post more details when it gets a little closer.

Thank you also to everyone who has helped us with this tree. It is so neat to see all of the different ornaments, and to know that each one was picked out by someone who wants to show support for Carter. It warms our hearts, and we greatly appreciate it.

What do you think?

We need your help deciding on which picture to use for Carter's tree. We can have a 5x7 sitting next to it, and we've narrowed it down to the following options. If you could just take a moment and leave your vote by either leaving a comment on the blog, on Facebook, or sending me an email at teamcarterjay@gmail.com . I can't wait to see what you all think!

Here is choice #1

Choice #2

Choice #3 and Choice #4

Thanks for your help!!

Fried Green Tomatoes

Dear Carter,

Sometimes it's funny how you can watch a movie one million times, but it only takes one time for it to stay with you forever. Does that make any sense? Let me give you an example. I've seen the movie Fried Green Tomatoes many, many, many times over my lifetime. Pretty much any time that I see it's on TV, I'll watch it. I think it's a great movie, but not for any specific reason. Well, yesterday it happened to be on TV, so I of course started watching. After a few minutes Mrs. Threadgood began telling her new friend about her son. I hadn't even remembered this part of the movie, and when it was over it left me in tears. Here is the transcript:

I didn't know you had a child.

Yes, I did. Albert. When he was born, the doctor said it would be best if I didn't see him. He said his mind wouldn't develop past the age of five, and I should put him in an institution. Because the burden of raisin' a child like that would be too great.

Well, I thought about Ruth. She always said....there was a separate god for children. So I smiled at him and I asked for the baby. Why, from the minute he was born, Albert was the joy of my life. The Lord's greatest gift. I don't believe there was a purer soul on this earth. I had him with me til' he was 30. Then he went to sleep and he didn't wake up. Sometimes I can't wait to get to Heaven to see him again.

I believe this was just like you Carter. You were the greatest gift, and there wasn't a purer soul on this Earth. Once again, I feel lucky.

Oh Christmas Tree

Dear Carter,
Oh, the tree is almost complete, and decorating day is almost here! It's starting to feel very real now! I'm thrilled with the way it's coming together, and I hope that we make you proud.

The kids had their school pictures taken, and it was time to put their new ones in the frames. I decided that every time I change out their pictures, I'm going to change yours too. It's always nice to see new pictures of you...especially when I find ones that I had forgotten about. This is the new one I chose. I LOVE it!

I am missing you a lot today. I just wish that you could be laying on your blanket staring at the lights on your tree. It was your absolute favorite thing to do this time last year, and I keep remembering it. I'm sure that your whole world is filled with brightly colored Christmas trees! I love you my little sweetie.

Thankful

I've been reading about everyone's 30 days of Thankfulness, and figured that I might as well join in because I too have so much to be thankful for. Of course, these aren't in any order...just writing them as they come to my mind.

1- I am thankful for God, and for the faith he has graced me with. There is no way that I could have made it through the last two years without Him by my side. I am also thankful for our church. It is an amazing community of people, and such a calming and peaceful place.

2- I am thankful for my very best friend, Michael. I couldn't ask for a better husband. I love his charming personality, and the way that he takes care of me and our family. He can make me laugh at the drop of a hat. I love you, Michael.

3- I am thankful for my 3 beautiful children. Mikey, Jovie, and Carter have each brought their own something special to our family.

4- I am thankful for our family. They have supported us and loved us through our hard times. How did we get so lucky to have such an amazing family?

5- I am thankful for friends, both near and far. I am blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.

6- I am thankful for my husband's job. Without it, we wouldn't have food in our bellies, a nice house, or a car to drive. Thank you Michael for working so hard for our family.

7- I am thankful that we live in a place that is so close to a children's hospital. I can't imagine how our time with Carter would have been if we lived hours away from a facility that could help us take care of him.

8- I am thankful for all of the pictures, videos, and this blog about Carter. Without that, I would only have my mind to keep my memories of him alive.

9- I am thankful for the opportunity to do charity work in Carter's name. It helps us to heal, and to continue his life so to speak.

10- I am thankful for my Father In Law. Even though I never met you, I have this overwhelming comfort knowing that you are with my baby boy. I'd much rather have you both here on Earth with us, but am happy to know that you are together.

11- I am thankful for Skype. I have just barely signed up for this, and got to see my Grandma and Grandpatalk to me for the first time in 18 months.

Ok, so the rest of these pale in comparison to the others, but I've gotta put it out there lol!

12- I am thankful for Bon Jovi (OK, I know this sounds silly), BUT sometimes I feel like they've written the soundtrack to my life. They have been in my life so long that it's hard to imagine it without them.

13- I am thankful for NFL football. Even if my Detroit Lions stress me out week after week. It gives me something to look forward to.

14- I am thankful for caffeine. My drug of choice.

15- I am thankful for the internet....how in the world would I function without that?

Sooooo Lucky!

Right now, this is my very favorite store in the whole entire world:

They just donated a Christmas tree for Carter!!!

I went in there a few weeks ago with a flyer that explained what we were doing for Carter. A nice man named Trent told me that he'd submit the paperwork and see what happens. Well, today, I went and picked up the tree. When I went to the front desk to let them know that I was there, an employee there wanted to know more about Carter. She asked if he was my son. She was very sweet in the questions she asked, and once again I felt my heart swell with pride.

YES! Carter is MY son, and I have no idea why he picked me, or how I got to be so lucky. He was the most amazing boy, and YES! I AM his mommy. See, now the tears are falling again, because I truly do feel that....I feel blessed that I got to be his mommy. Nobody else in the world knows what it was like to be part of something so special. Nobody else in the world knows what it was like to be Carter's mommy. Why me? I'll never know, but I do know that I am beyond thankful to him for choosing me, and to God for giving me such a precious gift.

I must admit that there are times when I feel the "why me", "why him", and "why us". I get angry that for whatever reason he was called away from us so soon, but I try....I try so hard to focus on the blessing that we were given. Today started out as a "why me" day, but after this tree was given to us, I'm now back to the "I'm so lucky" day. Because I really am.....lucky.

Movin' Along

Dear Carter,

I'm still having a hard time keeping up on this blog. I really want to get out of my writing funk because this really is the only type of journal I keep. I'm going to try my hardest to write at least every other day through the holiday season...wish me luck!

I picked up little Jovie from her preschool class yesterday, and was so thrilled when I saw this hanging on the bulletin board.
If you can't read it, it says that Jovie is thankful for Baby Carter, and there's a picture of her with you. Truer words couldn't have been written because we are all so very thankful for you. She is very excited about your Christmas tree, and even told her teacher that we were making a tree for the "fesibal of twees". What a cutie pie!

We had Mikey's parent teacher conference on Tuesday, and his teachers raved about him. He got all 3's which are like A's, and he's moving right along in the first grade. It makes me proud to see him growing up and taking pride in his work. I hope that we can keep him that way throughout school.

Tonight we are going shopping for the rest of the stuff we need to finish your tree, and then it's just a bunch of craft work to get it ready. We are still looking for more train ornaments, so if anyone is interested in helping us out, please send me an email at teamcarterjay at gmail dot com.

I'm still missing you like crazy, but doing this tree is helping me out a little. It's nice to know that we are doing something that keeps your memory alive. I hope that you can feel the love we're sending to you every minute of every single day.

We're Still Here!

Dear Carter,

I haven't updated your blog in awhile. We've had a nasty tummy bug making it's way through our house for the last two weeks which has made for a very busy Momma! Everyone seems to be on the mend now, so hopefully I can start to give attention to our journal here.

We had a pretty good Halloween. We missed you like crazy, but found ways to include you in everything we did. Check out the pumpkin we carved for you!

Mikey was a Ghostbuster, and Jovie was a Peacock. We found Ajax' costume from several years ago, so he went as Woody from Toy Story. What a cute bunch!

Mikey wasn't so much in the mood to take pictures, but Jovie was all about posing. The rain started to fall as we went out Trick Or Treating, but we continued on anyway. Mikey only made it up to Grandma's and back before calling it a night, but Jovie went through the entire neighborhood. She brought home quite the haul!

I'm still working on your tree, and it's coming together. The decorating day is fast approaching, and I can't wait to make you proud.