December 15, 2010

Second Christmas

Dear Carter,
I've been neglectful of your blog again. I'm trying, I'm really trying, but quite honestly I still don't have much of that fire in me to write. I was doing pretty well until your tree was finished, and then the sadness of not having you here with me crept up on me again. I expected it, after all, there would most certainly be something wrong with me if I wasn't sad about not having you here for your second Christmas.

When I look back on the years of my Christmas past (yes, I probably stole that line from a movie lol), it's so easy to pick out which one is my absolute favorite. Nothing will ever compare to last year because I had all three of my kids together and's very hard to swallow that it will be the only Christmas with all of my kids together like that. You had on the cutest little pjs that read "I believe in Santa". I still look at them from time to time because they are by far one of my favorite outfits of yours.

I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit, especially for your brother and sister. I'm hoping that once they are on their break (starting on Friday afternoon), I will start to feel a little better. Until then, I go through the motions of filling out the Christmas cards and wrapping the gifts. I love you baby boy. All I want for Christmas is you.


Colleen said...

I have no words. I can't imagine the sadness of not having your sweet boy here for Christmas. Sending you many hugs.

Sherry C said...

Your words are so touching. I'm sending you hugs too.