The Next Phase

Yes, I had a lot of miscarriages.  Now those all seem to be explained by a chromosomal issue, but at the time it just seemed to be our cross to bear. We had testing done and everything came back normal. Yes, each one put a hole in our hearts and to think about all of our children that were never born can get to be a little overwhelming. Unfortunately, after miscarriage two or three we started to get a little numb to it. Doesn't that sound awful?  It became to be almost expected. It doesn't meant that it didn't hurt, but it certainly didn't hurt as much. I believe that those losses only made us better parents and made us appreciate our children more. At least we were graced with two healthy children. There are many couples out there who never have that opportunity. I tend to always have the mindset that things could be a LOT worse.

So, there we were. Pregnant with Carter. I seriously think that I held my breath for those first three months.  It seemed as though they flew by with the business of having two other kids. I knew he was a boy from the very beginning.  There was absolutely no doubt in my mind.  The beginning of the pregnancy was very typical.  A little morning sickness, but nothing major.  Everything looked wonderful on the ultrasounds... that is until we went in for our big 20 week ultrasound. 

It seems like a lifetime ago, but here are the blog posts from when I was pregnant with him: My Pregnancy With Carter .

There's more to come tomorrow.

On a current note, we took Carter to his checkup with the Cardiologist and everything looks great!  This doc agreed with the Pulmonologist that we could try weaning the little guy down on his O2 during the day.  I'd been kind of putting this on the back burner while we concentrate on other things, but am definitely going to start trying him out on a 16th more.  He does fine on room air until he gets upset, and then he gets himself into trouble.  I used to be in a hurry to get him off of O2, but I've learned that with Carter he'll do it in his own time.

My Story

I thought with a new year beginning, it was time to share some of the feelings that I've been having, but in order to get there, I need share my story from the beginning. This may take a few posts.

My whole life I have felt that I was supposed to have 3 kids.  I grew up with only one sibling, so I'm not exactly sure where this feeling came from. It was something that I had always planned on. Michael and I got married in 2000 when I was 21 and he was 23.  We waited a few years before trying to have any kids. I did get pregnant a few times before we were blessed with our first baby boy Mikey in 2003.  Those first pregnancies ended in miscarriage during the early weeks. Mikey was a handful to say the least.  He still is!  As any parent knows I felt an enormous love for him from the minute he was born. I got pregnant again when Mikey was 9 months old.  That pregnancy was a complete shock, but we were up for the challenge.  Unfortunately, we lost that baby too.  I remember being thankful to God for at least giving me one child.  After that loss, we weren't sure that we would try again.  The miscarriages were very hard on us, and we were starting to get the mindset that it was OK if Mikey was an only child.  Not too long after that, I was pregnant once again.  As fast as that pregnancy came, it was taken away.  After a little time, we decided to try one more time.  If this pregnancy didn't work out, then we were not going to put ourselves through it any more and we would possibly look into adoption later (I'm actually adopted, so that prospect was a little exciting to me).

We were soon blessed with our baby girl, Jovie in 2006.  She was a very sweet balance to Mikey and definitely made our family feel complete for a time.  After about a year, I felt that pull to have a third child again.  I became pregnant quite shockingly.  At that time we knew there was a chance that we may lose the baby, but still made plans to prepare for it.  We began the process of selling our house to move into something a little bigger.  A few days before signing the papers to begin the building of our new home we lost our baby.  We were crushed.  I knew that I was prone to miscarriage, but it still hit me very hard.  We found out a couple of weeks later that the pregnancy had actually been a Molar Pregnancy .  Basically, the placenta had formed into an abnormal mass of cysts rather than becoming a viable pregnancy.  This meant that I had to be closely monitored by my doctor by having blood drawn every six weeks for six months.  If any of those tests came back abnormal, then I was going to have to do rounds of Chemotherapy.  That was a very scary time, but we made it through it. It's weird, but I hardly remember the trips to the doctors office, or the testing. Maybe it's because our life was chaotic at the time with the building of our house. Because of the Molar Pregnancy, we could not get pregnant for one year. I thought for sure that we were absolutely done having kids.  Obviously we were meant to have two.  I had come to accept it and had started to move on.  We were now living in our new home, and things just felt right.  Although, I must admit that I still had that pull.  Michael and I decided that we would try ONE more time.  If this baby didn't make it, then we were absolutely done.  It's a good thing that we decided to try that one more time because that baby did make it. I was pregnant with Carter.

Christmas

Here is the completed Nativity.  Isn't it precious?  Thank you to our Secret Family for making this holiday season extra special for us. Your notes made us reflect on what Christmas is really about.

Our Christmas was spent at home this year. On Christmas Eve Michael brought home a new Wii game, and we made a bunch of finger foods.   We had a few visitors throughout the day which made it even more fun.  Here are the kids in their new Christmas jammies.

Carter looked so cute in his big boy jammies.  It cracks me up because they are a size 3-6 months.

The kids woke up at about 7:30 Christmas morning.  Carter slept in until about 8:00, and then he wanted in on the action.

Major sleepy eye.

Carter loved his new floor mirror.

Check out these gorgeous gifts!

A Secret Santa snuck these gifts into the back of Michael's truck.  How sweet is that?!  You won't believe what was inside of each one.  Each of the kids got some REALLY nice outfits that included socks, pants, shirts, and hoodies from our favorite store.  Carter got a very soft blanket too! Then one of them had a huge box of chocolates, a Christmas CD, and a photo keychain.  The card was very nice telling us to believe in Santa Claus, and there was a letter that told the story about "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus".  I am seriously floored at how kind this person was to do all of this for us.  Your generosity is too much! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. The kids loved their outfits, and they were the perfect size. You'll never know how much this act of kindness has meant to us.  We feel very blessed.

We spent the rest of the day hanging out in our pajamas. It was the best Christmas ever!

Carter is nine months old today.  Can you believe it? Nine months old. He's moving right along with things.  I've noticed that I've been lacking in his therapies for the last couple of weeks with the holidays, so for the last two days we've been doing some major workouts. 

I started him back up on cereal, and as you can see he loves it.

NOT!  This is Carter saying "Are you trying to kill me?!?!"

He's actually doing pretty well with it.  I just need to stick with it so he can keep getting better at it.

Merry Christmas

I hope that everyone has a wonderful Christmas.  We sure have already.  Carter decided to give us an early Christmas present by giving us his first chuckle.  He's been doing it all day as long as you tickle his thighs or his feet. I guess he felt guilty for putting a damper on Thanksgiving.

Merry Christmas!

Monkey Toes

So, I was just doing some cleaning on my computer when I came across this pic.  It makes me laugh because I remember the group of Geneticists in the NICU being amazed by the length of Carter's toes. I also remember getting upset by it, but now I can honestly say that Yes, Carter has abnormally long toes.  You may not be able to tell from the picture, but they defnitely have a finger-like quality to them.  He fans them out just like you would your hand. But you know what?  I see that as a total positive.  They are simply adorable, and he can clean his room a little faster too!

Last night, I decided to add a list of things that Carter has been diagnosed with over there ------>
The only reason that I did this is for other parents who may stumble upon my blog.  I know that it has helped me tremendously to compare Carter's conditions with other children who have a Chromosomal Disorder. I honestly didn't realize how long the list really was until I typed it out.  It looks a little overwhelming doesn't it? The good news is that a lot of it can be repaired with surgery, or has already been repaired.  The other good news is that it could be a LOT longer.  It may even be a lot longer someday, but for now I'm going to stay positive and be thankful that it is what it is. I plan to to go through each thing and explain more fully what it is. I should definitely add extra cuteness and super long toes to it as well :)

My Sweetheart

Today was Michael's birthday.  He had to work, but once he got home it seemed like we had a lot of visitors and phone calls with birthday wishes.  Thank you to everyone who helped us celebrate today. I know that it meant a lot to him. I'm very proud of Mike for all of the hard work he does.  He really is the best husband that I could have found. I'm a VERY lucky girl!

Jovie had a Preschool program last week, and she looked so pretty.  She and her best friend, Lauren are in a class together. As you can see they have similar taste in clothes.

Mikey had a mini talent show in his class on Friday.  Michael and the grandmas attended.  He was so worried because he "doesn't have a talent....he only knows how to do Kung Fu" which I assure you he does not.  We taught him how to say Merry Christmas using Sign Language and he did great! What a cutie.  He's getting to be so big.

Carter had his first Synagis shot today.  This is the vaccine for RSV, and for a baby his size it costs $2200 a month.  He has to have it once a month for 5 months, but THANKFULLY our insurance is covering it.  I also swallowed my pride and asked the Pediatrician to fill out a form to get a Handicapped plaquard for our car. I do fine carrying Carter and all of his accessories most of the time....but lately it's been REALLY hard finding a parking spot at the hospital.  Usually if I do find one, it's so far away from the building that I'm exhausted by the time I get inside.  I usually take the stroller, but there are some appointments where it is such a tight fit. I guess we'll be sportin' a plaquard for awhile.

Our Secret Family is still delivering little surprises to us.  The Nativity is almost complete.  I'm going to share a picture when it's all done.  Our kids kept asking when we could be someone's Secret Family, but since it was a little late to do that, we decided to start leaving little gifts for our Secret Family instead.  The kids have had a blast with it.

Secret Family and Dance Class

So, I mentioned in the earlier post that Jovie had her dance recital today.  She did awesome!  She's too darn cute with how seriously she takes dance.

We've had a few little surprises at our doorstep the last few nights.  A Secret Family has been leaving us pieces of this adorable Nativity scene with notes telling us how each piece is a symbol of Christmas.  The first night we got the background, the second was the Manger, and tonight we got the donkey with the cart.  Our kids are LOVING this, and can't wait to see what comes next.  I don't know if our Secret Family reads our blog, but if they do Thank you!  I can't believe how thoughtful people can be.

Double Post Day!

I'm going to try my hardest to do two posts today. There's been a lot going on, but I just haven't found the time to sit down and write it all out. First, it snowed like crazy here this weekend.  Poor Michael somehow got Gout in his foot, so he was down for the count.  I took over the snow removal duties.  I was so proud of myself for getting everything cleared.  Please don't judge me for wearing a Denver Broncos coat.  I don't have any snow gear.

As for an update on Carter, he's doing really well.  The hospital hasn't called to schedule the EEG yet, so I'm starting to think that we got lost in the shuffle.  I'm almost hoping that they don't call.  He hasn't had any more episodes, and I'm truly convinced that it was acid reflux. If he does it again, then I'll be concerned.  I really don't want to have an unnecessary test done, and at this point I feel like it is.

His upper trunk has gotten strong enough that we can lift him by holding on to his hips, and he keeps himself steady. He's been much more alert and talkative as well.  He got really close to rolling onto his tummy yesterday.  He got stuck in that position where he didn't know where his arm should go.  Michael had to help him over the rest of the way.  I think that he has a ways to go before that happens, but at least he's trying.  I never thought that I'd get excited over the fact that my baby now lays flat on his back without rolling onto his side, but I am.  He tries to reach for the buttons on his piano. He's acting more and more like a 3 month old baby.  I took him to Jovie's dance recital today (pics on that later) with the idea that he would have his car seat covered the whole time.  Carter had a different idea.  He wanted to be able to see his sister dance.  Before, he would have been very indifferent to being covered up, but he's wanting to explore his world now.  Sweet, sweet boy.  He's growing up!  Carter and I have caught a cold, but it's really minor and more of an annoyance.  He's struggled with eating the last couple of days because of it, but I'm sure he'll be a lot better tomorrow.

Michael's Poem

I have a seriously talented husband. He wrote this little "poem" for me today. It's simply perfect! For anyone who doesn't know, Ajax is our dog, and we have a blow up Frosty in our yard.

Twas the night before Christmas when all through our house,
Not a child was sleeping not even a spouse.
The stockings were hung by the fireplace with care
In hopes that Ajax would not reach them up there

The children were all nestled all snug in our bed
While Mikey's snoring was echoing through all of our heads
Mama on her laptop and me on Farmville
Was just getting ready to get half a sleeping pill

When across the room there rose such clatter
Mama raced to Carter's Oximiter to see what’s the matter
Away to Carter's crib she went with a dash
Tripping over Jovie's My Little Pony stash

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Made it so Frosty's blower would not blow
When what our wondering eyes should appear
A big smile from Carter which gave Mama a tear

With Mikey and Jovie wanting a drink
Dada was yelling get your cup from the sink
More rapid than Eagles the kids now run
Mama yelling your going in your own beds when done

Now Mikey now Jovie now Carter and Dada
Get Ajax and Bud get out of my bed
To your rooms you kids go and the cage for the dogs
Everybody to bed so I can finish the blog

With silence at last and all kids all tucked in
Mama and Dada could finally do some cuddlin'
When a knock on the bedroom door should appear
It was Mikey just wondering when he could sneak in here

Now after Midnight the clock shows
We can now finally rest our heads on our pillows
With Mikey, Jovie, and Carter now having sweet dreams
We can all rest and wait to see what Santa Brings

Merry Christmas!

Long Overdue

I've been a terrible blogger lately.  Sorry about that.

Honestly, things around here have been pretty dull.  I'm NOT complaining, in fact, I prefer it that way, but it makes for pretty boring writing. 

The kids had a really fun weekend.  After a big storm on Saturday, they got to help Daddy shovel the snow. Jovie would have stayed out there for hours if we would have let her.  We also put together a Gingerbread House.  The kids thought that was a blast, but promptly started eating the candy off the roof later that night. Otherwise, we just watched all of the big college football games.

Carter has had a good couple of days.  He's had a lot of therapy lately, and it seems to be paying off.  He still has a very hard time lifting his head while he's on his tummy, BUT his upper trunk is definitely getting stronger.  He's not as wobbly when you hold him in the sitting position.  He's been rolling from side to side like crazy.  In fact, his vision therapist could not get him to stay on one side to concentrate on a toy the other day.  Carter just wanted to show off his motor skills instead.  Too cute!  He's obsessed with the Christmas tree, and would lay on the floor staring at it all day if we let him. I had been holding off on the solid foods lately with everything that happened on Thanksgiving, but decided to start him back up today.  He's still trying to learn what to do with the spoon, but he tries very hard.  That's all I can ask of him.  Here are some pics of him looking at me like "Get out of my way woman, I'm lookin' at my Christmas tree"

Therapy

Wow, there has been a lot going on today!

Carter had an appointment with his Pediatrician today.  Our little guy now weighs 12 lbs. 8 oz.  He's gained one pound in a month!!  The Doc agrees with me, and doesn't think that Carter is having seizures, BUT we're going to have an EEG done anyway just to be sure.  Carter had one small episode on Sunday morning, but has been free and clear ever since (knock on wood).   They're supposed to call me tomorrow with the day and time of the EEG.

Afterwards, Carter had vision therapy and Occupational therapy.  I  don't usually schedule two therapies in one day, but our vision lady needed to see us today and our OT was already scheduled.  It's alright though because Carter rocked in both of them. 

He's still just chugging along developmentally.  He's rolling from side to side all of the time now, and is raising his legs up higher.  I can see that he's getting stronger, but he still doesn't have the strength to lift his head up when he's on his tummy.  It will come though, he just needs to keep practicing.

And The Winner Is

Sorry, I'm a little late doing the drawing... Carter's therapies ran a little long today :)

And the winner is:

Random Integer Generator



Here are your random numbers:
2

Timestamp: 2009-12-02 22:57:10 UTC


Congrats Sarah!  Email me at santasletters@hotmail.com for your prize :)