January 3, 2010

The Big Appointment

I can't believe that this all happened a year ago.  It seems crazy.  I remember it being a LONG wait between the scheduling of the Perinatologist appointment and the actual appointment.  Michael had to work out of town for most of the month of December, but made a special trip home just for our appointment.  We waited in the waiting room for what seemed like hours.  When it was finally our turn, I remember praying the entire length of the hallway.  Finally, the tech got started with the ultrasound and we saw our sweet Carter on the screen.  She was able to confirm that he was a boy right away, then she went to work scanning every part of his little body.  She did measurements in which he was measuring a little small, but nothing to be worried about.  Once again we were told that the baby was in an awkward position, but that she would be able to get the pictures they needed....it would just take a little time.  She kept going back to the same spots that the first tech did.  The heart, the kidneys, the lip.  The heart, the kidneys, the lip.  Then it seemed as though she gave up on the lip and went for just the heart and kidneys.  After a while she asked me to empty my bladder to see if that would help move Carter to a better angle.  That didn't really work, so she tried prodding the wand into my stomach.  Finally, she said that she felt comfortable that she had gotten everything and went to get the doctor. 

We waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The knot in my stomach grew even tighter, and I thought for sure that something was most definitely wrong.  The doctor came in and asked questions about my previous pregnancies.  I thought to myself...".there is definitely something wrong."  The doctor proceeded to scan the same areas.  The heart, the kidneys, the lip.  After a few moments he was ready to tell us his verdict.  We heard the words "I see ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with your baby from head to toe.  There is a part of the heart that we can't quite visualize, but I'm sure that it's there....it's just that the baby is in an awkward position."  I couldn't believe it.  With the way the doctor had acted I though that there was most definitely something going on. He went on to explain that he no longer saw debris in the fluid and what had probably happened was that the Placenta had torn away form the wall just a tiny bit.  He had checked the Placenta and it looked wonderful now.  He told us that it was quite common. We were absolutely relieved, and decided to name him Carter Jay while we were in the parking lot leaving the hospital.  Our baby boy was healthy.  Thank you lord! 

We continued on with the pregnancy like all of our other children.  It wasn't until I was 37 weeks that there were more clues as to what God had in store for us.  I went in for my regular checkup, and I had lost about 6 lbs. from the appointment the week before.  The doc checked my Fundal height which was within normal limits, but on the smaller side.  At the next appointment I had lost even more weight.  The doc checked everything again, and decided that the baby had just dropped into the pelvis which was causing my belly to appear smaller.  We did a non-stress test just to be sure that the baby was OK, and everything came out fine.  I know that looking back on this it seems as though our doc had missed something, but really everything was just on the brink of being abnormal. I'm not angry with him at all.  It's not like finding out beforehand would have changed anything except maybe a little more preparedness on our part. I've never shared this with anyone, not even Michael, but it was about that time that I started having random thoughts pop into my head like 'which would I deal better with a blind child, or a deaf child .', or 'does Carter seem like a name for a child with special needs'.  It's very possible that I had these thoughts with all of my pregnancies, but they were very profound to me after our little guy arrived.


Colleen said...

I love your story. I feel like I've walked such a similar journey. I think us Mom's just KNOW when something isn't quite right. I can't wait to hear the rest.

Lacey said...

We didn't know before with Jax either. And I know everyones different, but I'm glad I didn't know. I just would have worried the whole time.

Sherry C said...

wow your story sounds very much like mine. I feel it was a blessing not knowing what was in store for Ashley and myself before she was born. It seems the pain and worry would have just started earlier. Luckily that pain and worry I felt that first year or two gets so much easier in time it took me a few years now she is 4 1/2 years old and my thought of my daughter are joyous and excited for all she is doing.