February 3, 2011


Dear Carter,

Our whole house is still fighting off the sickness, but I think we've turned the corner now and are starting to get better. This was a respiratory illness, so in a small way I'm glad that you aren't here for it. I can only imagine that you would have been a super sick kid, and would have probably had to make a visit to the PICU.

As I was driving home the other day, I heard an interesting conversation on the radio about dreams. Somebody was saying that dreams are the time of our day when God can really speak to us. I guess that could be true, but wonder what he could possibly trying to tell me with some of the crazy dreams my brain comes up with. Ha!

I always go to bed praying that I will dream of you.

I really want to have that feeling of holding you again...of smelling your sweet scent...of kissing your cheek even if it's only in my dreams. I've been told that some of your cousins and friends of our family have had dreams about you, and I'm always quite jealous. I have had one very short dream in which I got to hold you, but it only lasted what seemed like a few moments, and it certainly made me hungry for more.

It wasn't until recently that I realized that as much as I want to....I probably won't dream of you for awhile. I honestly think that it may be God's way of protecting me. He knows that if I were to dream about you, then I'd probably never want to wake up. I'd want to stay in bed all day and do nothing but sleep, so for now I'm OK with this....

but I certainly won't stop praying that I'll get to meet you again.

In my dreams.

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