March 5, 2012

The Eighth Little Thing.....That Shows How Quickly Things Change

Dear Carter,

Today was a beautiful day outside! Your sister even had a chance to try out her new roller skates.  She still needs a bit of practice getting her balance.  Perhaps we all need to continue to work on that.  I feel as though I've been off-balance since the day you left.

With the warm weather brought that feeling of Spring fever.  This year, your daddy turned a large chunk of our yard into a vegetable garden.  He even put up a little fence to keep the Beefcake out of it.  Your sister and I couldn't be more excited!  We spent a big portion of our night using an online tool to plot out exactly what we are going to plant, and where. 

As was the case for me last year, the idea of planting a garden brings back so many memories.  I remember taking you for your first walk up to Grandma and Grandpa's house to take care of the garden up there.  This was only a few days before the surgery.  You don't look too happy here, but you were thrilled once you started to feel the air between those toes!

It's crazy to me to see how much has changed since this picture was taken.  It's only been two years, and yet it feels like an entire lifetime ago.  I remember loving this walk, and thinking of how many more we would go on after your surgery....if only I would have known that this was my only chance.

When I look back to just last year, it still seems like a lifetime ago.  So many things have changed.  I went from full-time mommy/nurse to a part time school tutor.  I went from a special needs mommy to a grieving mommy.  I went from a mommy to three on Earth to a mommy to two on Earth and one in Heaven.

Now your sister was in the room with me and is having a moment of missing you, so I'm going to go and give her all kinds of cuddles and comfort.  She loves you so much my little sweetie.  We all do.