The Fourteenth Little Thing....That Means That I Need A Break

Dear Carter,

I'm not going to lie.....things have been a bit tough around here.  I can't believe that your third birthday is on Tuesday!! I just miss you so much, and find myself a bit jealous of others that I can't spend this most important day with you.  After all, it's the day that changed my life FOREVER.  I got especially jealous when I took a short trip to Wal-Mart today and saw a toddler chasing after his mommy bawling, and she just kept screaming at him over her shoulder.  To make things worse, he didn't even have any shoes on, and the store was SO busy.  I find myself repeating that I shouldn't judge, but sometimes I just can't help but think why these people take their babies for granted....and here we are missing you. 

I haven't done a very good job at updating your blog again, or with even working on Carter's Hope.  I feel really badly about it, because I feel as though it means that I'm losing touch with you in a sense.  The truth is that I just don't have much to say that is happy right now, and I feel as though when I write about the negative then I will let it consume me.  I'm just trying to tread water here and trying to just keep on swimming. I'm doing it baby, and I KNOW that the brighter days are ahead. I can feel it!

I've thought and thought and thought of ways that we can celebrate it, and the only idea that I've come up with is doing a balloon launch for you.  I've had several people tell me that they are planning to do the same, and we say the more the merrier! I'm sure that you would absolutely LOVE having lots of balloons up at your birthday party. I hope that you can feel the love that we all have for you.

I've had this feeling lately that maybe the best thing for me would be to just take a couple of weeks off from blogging and Facebook. I know that you're probably thinking that I already do that with the length of time between my posts, lol, but even when I'm not writing on here, I am thinking about it.  I think that I just need a little break.  Maybe a couple of weeks. I promise that I'll be back, but I feel as though I need to take some time and just focus on our healing and on our family.  I've got a post scheduled for your very special birthday, but I don't plan to write much else.  When I do come back, I'll be ready to tell you about all of the cool things we've been up to, and hopefully I'll be refreshed for blogging. 

I am always so thankful for the support of our friends and family, and appreciate all of the kind comments and words of encouragement during this tough time for our family during this tough period....we appreciate them more than you know, and they really do help!!

I love you so much my little sweetie pie.  I hope to kiss you in my dreams tonight.  I miss you.