October 15, 2011


Dear Bubba,

Look at this treasure I found while making yet another archive of your pictures. I'm just so afraid that I'm going to lose one! I just love the way that you are holding on to your little monkey for dear life in this picture. You are actually watching your very favorite crib toy as well. I "think" that this one was taken in the PICU a couple of days after your heart cath. I just love your precious little cheek.

Today was the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. We woke up to a nice little treasure on our doorstep. I'll post a picture of it tomorrow, but let's just say that it just made our day! Thank you so much to whoever left us with this wonderful gift (although I'm about 99% sure who it was). We just LOVE it! It was the perfect gift for today! We are quite simply blessed.

On a day like today, I can find it so easy to fall into that sadness of missing you. I mean, it's a sadness that is always there and lingering, but it would be easy to just fall into it and crawl back into bed. I decided right away when I woke up this morning that I was NOT going to let that happen. I have friends who are going through today without nearly as much time as we got with you. Instead, I am going to thank God for the blessing we were given by having 14 months with you. I am going to feel blessed that you are healed again....that you can walk, and play, and run with all of the other little angels up there. I am going to feel blessed that God gave me the strength to take on this attitude today, and I am going to feel blessed that I will ALWAYS be your Mommy no matter if I can hold you or not.

I love you my little sweetie pie. You are heavy on my mind and heart today, but for this I will feel blessed.

No comments: