Candle

Dear Carter,

As I promised, here's the picture of our little surprise that we found on our doorstep on Saturday morning. I switched out the lights for the picture so you could see it really good. Isn't it beautiful?! It also came with a butterfly frame to put your picture in. I just love it all! Thank you so much Price family. You always think of the things that we don't, and I know it's because you live in this same world of child loss with us. I wish that we didn't have to be here, but grateful that we have people like you to guide us through it.

We have a candle that we keep on our mantle which we light on days when we are really missing you, or when we have a family event. We have actually just started on our third one because we burn through them so quickly. I like to stare at that little flame and think about you. Sometimes I think that you are a lot like that little flame. I think about how you make my life so much brighter. You may have been a tiny flame baby boy, but you sure did create a lot of light!

Things have still been busy around here with school activities. Your brother and sister only have three days of school this week, so it will be fun to hang out with them on their days off. We plan to work on their Christmas tree for you. I'm loving the Festival Of Trees right now, and the feeling that doing these trees for you gives me. I am so grateful that your Aunt April had the brilliant idea to get involved last year. I think that it's truly what helps me the most to get through the holidays. I've even found myself listening to Christmas music a few times just to get in the mood to work on the trees.

I've also finally returned to church after my long absence after Monsignor Bonnell left. It was really hard to go back because then it would mean that he really was gone. I know that it's silly to put so much weight on the fact that he's no longer there, but I feel like in a way he held a candle to guide me on my faith journey. I go to church to be closer to God....not to be closer to a priest, but it's hard when your comfort zone has been taken away. I am slowly...and I mean slowly....adjusting to our new priest. He has made several changes, some of which I think could be good for our parish, and others I'm just not sure about. I guess mostly I don't understand some of them. I'm trying very, very hard to give him a chance though. Maybe in time he will help to lead me, and if not I will continue to attend and find my own way.

I love you so much baby boy. I plan to show you pictures from our Halloween Carnival tomorrow. It was so much fun!