Gifts

Dear Carter,

I'm sorry that I haven't updated your blog lately. I've just been busy enjoying time with your brother and sister while they've been out of school, and doing a bunch of organizing and house cleaning. We've had a lot of family time which has been healing for your Daddy and I. I felt as though I was so behind on everything ever since I got a job, and this last week I have gotten ahead on all of it....it feels good!!

Things around here have been going ok. There's a lot of stuff to update about, and I promise to do that throughout the week. It was a bit of a tough Christmas because we were missing you, but I would say that it seemed a little bit more normal than last year's did. We just miss you and wish that you were here with us rather than having a birthday party with Jesus, but we know that you had an amazing holiday up there with him.

I have had a few things happen over the last week or so that has made me realize that in many MANY ways I am wasting the gifts that you have given me by choosing me to be your mommy. I have decided that I am NO LONGER doing this, and will rise to my full potential. I feel like I have so much more that I could be doing, and I promise you that I am going to start doing it! What does this mean exactly? I have to be honest in saying that I'm not 100% sure, but I can tell you that I have stopped dragging my feet on a few projects, and absolutely promise to do more writing on this blog. I feel like I owe it to you. I owe it to your brother and sister to give them this journal to reflect on when they are old enough to appreciate it.

I love you so much baby boy, and I only hope that I make you proud.