January 8, 2012


Dear Carter,

I've been a Detroit Lions fan for my entire life.  It has something to do with your Grandma always liking them while I was growing up, and also being from Michigan....but whatever the reason, I have definitely "bled Honolulu blue" for as long as I can remember.

Being a Detroit Lions fan is hard.

It's really hard.

Especially when you live in Utah where there aren't too many of us.

A few seasons ago, they were the first team to go 0-16 in NFL history.  We have not been good AT ALL for a LONG time.  We've never even been to a Super Bowl.  So when we made it into the playoffs this year, I was more than ecstatic. At least we made it to the playoffs....at least we're improving.... at least we made it this far!

We were dubbed the major underdogs, but I still believed that we had a chance.  I still thought that we might beat those pesky Saints and head to Green Bay. 
Last night as your Daddy and I watched the game, I sat on the edge of my seat, and in the beginning it actually looked like we had a chance.  This was about the time that your great-aunt sent me a text telling me that they were looking good.  We chatted back and forth for a minute, and after I made a comment that I hoped they kept it up, she sent me back a two-word message which struck a chord with me.


At that moment I felt the tears coming.  I felt like this message was meant for me in more ways than just football. It was as if I suddenly had a "Faith Refill" of sorts.

You see baby boy, it's not that I have never had faith, or that I've somehow lost my faith.....it's more like at times I FORGET that I have it.  I get frustrated at some of the emotions I feel.

I feel like a lot of the things I do with your blog, or with Carter's Hope, or even our work with Operation Smile aren't going to work out, or that they're going to fail.  I need to have more Faith that God called me to do these things for a reason.  This has been proven to me just over the last weekend when I had a few more stories submitted for Carter's Hope that are from people that I don't even know.

I feel like when I get really sad and depressed about you being gone, it's because maybe I simply don't have enough faith.  I know in my heart that this isn't necessarily true because I am human. I'm going to be sad for you....you are my baby, but these are just some of the thoughts that go through my head at times.  I need to HAVE FAITH.

And even though my team ended up losing, I still have the faith.  I have it for them in the years to come, and I have had it "refilled" in my own life just because of those two words that were texted to me.

Thank you Darlin'

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