Here We Go!

Dear Carter,

I'm going to do a huge picture update later, but wanted to tell you all about our day today.

Your big brother started his very first day of second grade. The emotions were much different for me this year because I think I am used to him staying at school all day. Last year I remember it being very hard on me. I think that a lot of it has to do with knowing that I'll probably be at the school a lot helping out with PTA stuff.

It sounds as though he had a wonderful day. He has a LOT of friends in class with him, and he also has a brand new teacher who seems very eager to make this year fun for her students. Mikey even gets to be the very first "Surfer of the Week" since his birthday was only yesterday. I love it when he has to make the "About Me" posters because I get to see what he really thinks about himself.

Your sister will start Kindergarten next Monday. That's probably when I'll find myself getting more sentimental and sad. I just have to keep reminding myself that there is absolutely nothing I can do about them growing up, so why be sad about it? This is what they are supposed to do, and I really am proud of them for it! Today she and I went clothes shopping, and I tried to let her pick out her own clothes. For the most part she did a wonderful job, but there were a few times that I had to gently guide her toward another selection. One of our biggest scores of the day were not one, but TWO adorable Peacock shirts. She is going to look BEAUTIFUL this year. We had a blast having a girl's day out, and I hope that even when she is a teenager we will still have a good relationship. Your grandma and I struggled during that time in our lives.

I love you so much baby boy, and have really struggled with missing you during the last week. I know that it's because of all of the milestones that we have been hitting with starting school and Mikey's birthday. I just always ALWAYS feel like there is something missing, and that something (or rather someone) is definitely you! I am sure that it is a feeling that will always be here, and I really am adjusting to having it often, but it still hurts sometimes. I was thrilled when as we were walking to the doors of the school today, I saw a little butterfly leading the way. It was a gentle reminder that although you aren't here...you really are. I do know this, and I continue to remind myself of this, but as always it doesn't feel like quite enough.

I am looking forward to getting some serious work done on Carter's Hope and also on your Festival Of Trees donation during this week. It always helps me so much with the missing you.

We love you. Always and forever Bubba Jay!