June 3, 2011

Don't Worry

Dear Carter,

I woke up this morning with you heavy on my mind again. Today is exactly one year since we buried your precious body. This is the last of the "firsts". I also don't feel very well today, so I'm sure that it just adds to the emotion of the day. I was so SO happy when you sent me a message. And trust me baby boy, I got it!!

Jovie was watching a cartoon while I was taking a shower this morning. I was enjoying the warm water falling on my back, when she busted into the bathroom and told me that I HAD to come and see what was on TV RIGHT NOW! She told me that she "claused" it which in her language means that she paused it. I was a bit annoyed because typically she wants to show me a commercial for a toy she wants, or a new show coming on so I told her I'd come when I finished showering. Well, that just started the endless badgering of "are you done yet? are you done yet?".

When I went to see what was on TV, she played this video with the biggest smile on her face.

Only a couple of people would understand the meaning of this song to me. I used to sing you this song practically every.single.day. It was one of the things that would calm you down if you were upset. I know that you couldn't hear me sing very well (thank goodness for you!), but you LOVED to feel the vibrations on my chest. This was OUR song. Normally I would think that this was just a coincidence, but a few weeks ago your Aunt Jenny sent this song to me, and only a couple of days ago my lovely friend Chrissy posted another version of this song on my Facebook wall and wrote: This was meant for you today. Love Polly and Popcorn...Love you more than you will ever know. xoxox To add to it, she had NO IDEA what this song meant to us.

Now I see why we have two little birds on our doorstep singing sweet songs. Thank you baby boy. I love you, and I really do believe that every little thing is going to be alright.


Allison said...

Oh my gosh, I love that song! I love it when it comes on when Jenna is watching too! Now, I will forever associate with you and Carter too! <3

Becky Kankelfritz said...

Oh Heather. This is really something.

Sherry C said...

So beautiful thanks for sharing Carter's song. I will think of your little boy when I hear such beautiful words too. Sending tons and tons HUGS your way. I love how he is forever reaching out to you.

wendy said...

this puts a big smile on my face...thank heaven for the clause button! i love you!

Colleen said...

What could be a better song. That's so cute that Jovie hit the "clause" button so that you could see Carter's message. Hugs!