Today is Good Friday, and there is something that has been heavy on my heart all day.
As much as this day is so obviously completely about Jesus and how this was the beginning of our salvation, I can't help but imagine what things must have been like for Mary as she watched her son suffer.
It sucks to say that I can relate. I hate that I can relate, but I think that in a small way I can.
I can't help but question what must have been going through her mind...
Did she know even at the moment of his birth that this day would be coming?
In the beginning of His Passion, did she pray to God that he would just take Jesus right off of that cross and let him live...that she might hug him one more time?
But as time went on, and he cried out in pain, did she pray...and beg...and plead for God to take her son just to end his suffering?
And as he took his last breath, did she praise God?
Obviously I don't know what went through her mind on the day of Jesus' death, but I know that as a mother who has lost a son...I went through all of these emotions.
I knew that I would most likely have to face the day when I would bury you. I pleaded with God to let you live so I could spend more time with you. But then as I watched you struggle to breathe, I begged God to take you to end your suffering. And as you took your last breath, I praised God and thanked Him for healing my baby.
So, these are the types of things that have been on my mind today...because...well, that's just the way that my crazy mind works. This has been the kind of day when it feels good to just sit and contemplate these things. To be thankful to God for a day like Good Friday, and to anticipate the resurrection of Jesus.