Recovering

Dear Carter,

As I was sitting in the veterinarian's office on Wednesday, I started to feel like this was all too familiar. Sitting there waiting for results from an X-ray that may or may not tell us that he needed surgery. Even though Ajax is a dog, and the circumstances were completely different, I could feel myself having a bit of a mini panic attack.

Of course, he did need surgery which caused the emotions to overwhelm me even more. I had little Jovie with me, so I tried my best to stay positive as we said goodbye to our puppy. Unfortunately I couldn't hold onto that straight face for too long, and started to tear up as I was telling your Grandma the news. To make matters worse, your daddy was out of town so I was dealing with this all on my own.

I called to check on him and they told me that the surgery went well at first, but then as he was starting to wake up he started to bleed out. Talk about a surge of panic! I freaked out! I asked if it was still safe to bring him home so soon, and the tech asked me to hold for a minute while she found out. When she got back on the phone, she told me that she had been misinformed. They didn't have to go back in because he was bleeding...they had to go back in because they saw more stones on the second X-Ray. Relief! I'm no stranger to this roller coaster ride, and I must say that I'm not a fan of it.

Ajax came home that night and did great until Saturday. He started to decline rather quickly and was obviously in a lot of pain. We tried a few different things to help him, and they finally started to work later on that night....then on Sunday he started doing the same things. By Sunday afternoon he was doing much better, and besides a small problem on Monday which required more meds to be prescribed...he seems to be back to normal now.

The whole process was exhausting for me. It brought back so SO many memories of life with you...watching you closely, trying to decide if it was time to take you to the ER, waiting for test results, waiting through surgery. These are all of the memories that most of the time I have let slip from my mind. I would give anything to have those moments back because it means that I'd be with you, but since I can't, I only want to remember the good stuff....not the scary and hard stuff.

It looks as though Ajax is finally recovering, and now I have some recovering to do too.

P.S. This is not the best picture of Ajax, but it was the only one I could find this morning lol!