May 28, 2011

Small Distractions

Dear Carter,

I'm amazed by how just thinking about certain dates affects me so much. I'm not typically a sentimental person when it comes to specific dates, but when I woke up this morning...I remembered almost immediately that this was the day that we made that incredibly hard decision to take you off of the ventilator.

I remember coming home and having to tell your brother and sister what would probably happen...that you were going to live with Jesus.

I remember the way that Mikey reacted when we told him, and it will haunt me until the day that I die.

I remember going shopping for outfits for your brother and sister to wear for the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep pictures.

That day is one of those days that I wish I could completely erase from my memory. I don't feel like anything good came out of it. I'd rather think about the day you died over this day because I knew that you were healed, but I've honestly done rather well today, and I think it's been because of a few small distractions. I am thankful for these to keep my mind off of all of those bad memories.

As I told you before, we have a couple of birds living in our parkway. We were excited to see that the fourth egg was laid this morning. This is a picture of the two eggs, I can't get close enough to see all four now that "Polly" and "Popcorn" are always there to protect them.

This is the left side of our parkway RIGHT next to our driveway. That's the sidewalk right next to "Polly". I'm hoping they can stay safe. We've already had one neighbor come to our door to let us know that we had a sick bird in our yard.
She's not sick!! She's just a good mommy (yay for telephoto lenses)!

I can't help but think that these silly birds are in some way a Random Act Of Carter. You wouldn't think that a couple of birds could bring so much entertainment to a family, but they sure have. Your brother and sister want to name the eggs now that they've named "Polly" and "Popcorn".

Our church mass was said in your name tonight, and the last time this happened it was extremely emotional for us. Since a lot of people were making their First Holy Communion tonight, it made the mass a bit more happy for us. I appreciate that small distraction as well.

Oh baby boy, I can't believe that it's really been almost a year since we've said goodbye.

I miss you.


Kristin said...

So sorry you have to have these hard days.

Junior said...

lots of love, hugs, and prayers

Sidewinder Media said...

I love these little birds. They are Killdeer and they care so much about their little babies that when they sense danger to them the mom will run away from the nest and act like it is very injured. Basically saying to an enemy, "here come take me instead and leave my babies alone" If only all humans were as devoted to their children as these birds and you have been Heather and Mike.

Our Family said...

happy angelversary sweet boy.